Swine On!

Dear Mr Geldof.

In the face of this potentially horrible outbreak, I propose we gather round and stand tall. We need to send a message to this Swine Flu that we won’t be bullied, harrassed or intimidated by a mutant strain of Influenza. Having successfully stopped world hunger, erased third-world debt, and having scored a UK No.1 with ‘I don’t Like Modays’ you are clearly the man for the job.

So let’s fight this thing with the biggest weapon in our arsenal. Celebrities. The only way we can beat down this rabid virus is with a heartfelt, catchy and equally rabid single, performed by a who’s who of international musical talent. As long as we can get Liam Gallagher to sing ‘SWIIIIIIEEEEEENEEE” it will strike fear into the neuraminidase of even the toughest virion.

They say ‘Send a madman to catch a madman’ and likewise, to battle this contagious airborne disease, we must spread our own infectious message accross the airwaves.